again and
again, over and over. just wait. one day, some day. direct your attention, hold on. continue waking up. morning after morning day, after day. one day soon. some day soon. it'll all be over
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Although it is far
My country is part of me It is close to me 30 Minutes.
people walked into the capsules in groups of 20 or 30, some knowing each other while others not at all. Filled up the large “ovoidal capsules” some sitting Down some standing Up. Looking out the glass windows, at the beautiful view below all except… three people. A young women and man, along with a small child looking like the former they didn’t stand, by the glass gazing out at the view. They didn't sit, looking at the beauty They stood in the MIDDLE. looking - gazing at each other the young man holding out a diamond, the young women staring in shock. the little child looking on confused - about what was going on they KISS the women says ‘yes’ and they continue the ride. Pointing out sights, to the child with a smile on their faces the little bird:
an amateur runaway, leaving the first step, the first breath, the first reason why, they’re the most grueling. the little bird: as helpless and pure as snow, mortified the first night, the first hunger, the first monster, they’re the most horrendous. the little bird: scared and regretful, returning the first knock, the first apology, the first embrace, they’re the most gratifying. the little bird: a saint of knowledge, moving to his church the first lesson, the first friend, the first drink, they’re the most exhilarating. the little bird: a citizen of the sky, no longer little the first house, the first partner, the first child, they’re the most significant. old:
with leather and dust stacked upon one another the smell of abandonment, suffocating. its fall exploding with leaves of once was color winds of fear, glory, science, classics, life toppling and twisting the sky a vacant memory, looked upon with curiosity. new: with glistening words and smooth pages slipping in side by side the swords slash unnoticed on fingertips, the nerves forget damage the eyes continue their digilant dance. its spring blossoms of tulips coated with the child’s glee the rays of sun shining to blistered wonder legend and myth forced into a 2 dimensional world strangers become a human’s family. I’m sitting on a chair, near the table.
I’m in my room thinking hard. Remembering the first day at JES. It’s raining outside, it’s cold outside. I’m sharing my thoughts with the birds that fly. I’m recalling the days of sixth grade. The friends who were so kind. Teachers who gave me hope. Music that echoes in my mind. The days of happiness. The days of sadness. I’m sitting in my room, It’s cold outside. I’m thinking of future, That will meet me in a while. When I go to bed, I ask myself ...... "Who Am I?"
It is then I know that I'm more than what I think. I'm a peace lover, helpful, blessed, and delicate as a chewing gum. And there is so much more inside of me! I have memories of childhood inside of me! The beach and the smell of sand and salty water. Travels of trains, cars, and airplanes and seeing the blue between the clouds. And there is so much more inside of me! I have talents and ambitions inside of me! A good artist and a good singer. Want to be a poet, artist and a professor in English. And there is so much more inside of me! I have cultural traditions inside of me! Tradition of eating with right hand. A festival Eid, on which we eat sweet dishes and get together. And there is so much more inside of me! I have victories and defeats inside of me! Winning from my friends in class. Challenged from my brothers in many things but sometimes couldn't win. And there is so much more inside of me! I have vacations and distant inside of me! Visiting beaches with relatives and family. Going to New York to my uncle's house for days. And there is so much more inside of me. I have my own styles and opinions inside of me! My style is to have discipline and peace sometimes. Having close friends, parties and playing games. And there is so much more inside of me! So Who Am I? I'm more than what I look like. I'm more than my thoughts can fly. For there is so much inside of me, I am Yusra Ali. There once was a story about a girl who walked on they sky because it had been plastered on her bedroom floor
She always fell upwards and saw everything upside down so when everybody frowned it always looked like smiles And when everybody smiled it always looked like frowns Here when the city lights shined they looked like stars, fireworks even breaking the night with their glow No one cared about light pollution because who needed to see the stars when they had already brought them down to earth And the girls swore she could see God’s eyes in each flickering street lamp and light bulb There once was a story about a girl who heard everything backwards so she thought everybody was speaking in tongues only the devil could provide So she killed each and every one of them because their mouths were unholy She couldn’t help going a tiny, little bit mad When the man on the news captured girls off the street and packed them away in his basement because he never knew of love, only jealousy Jealousy of all the affection they obtained She, she couldn’t help but get a little unhinged With a twitch in one eye that caused her to see all the colors of insanity for it had been blinded by reality When the sweet, old lady down the street killed her dog and spray painted fag on the side of her house Well c’mon now, she couldn’t help but go a little bit LOONY She could barely scrub those words off her heart, how could she scrub it off a brick wall Her dog was her only friend When a war broke out and the streets were dyed red and baby heads littered the streets When guns were given out as Christmas presents and nobody understood what kindness was besides a weakness She couldn’t help but become a bit, just a wee bit DERANGED And when her FAMILY were the people on the new gutted clean, every piece of their flesh carved out X’s painted across their eyes in the very blood that kept them alive When they simply became lifeless puppets held up by strings of barbed wire well, She couldn’t help but go COMPLETELY CRAZY Pain is in remembering, remembering is pain Black out They tried to save her Schizophrenia, A.D.D, ADHD, Bipolar, depression, chronic anxiety They branded her with labels and filled her up with pills until she couldn’t tell the difference between the heavens and the ground Medication was the only rainbow she’d be seeing in a long time In a padded bedroom floor she walked on the sky “Look ma, I can touch the clouds!” I sprout,
Take months to grow, But eventually, Turn into a beautiful creation, A creation of life, Beauty, That is what I am, I enjoy the beams of sunlight, And April showers. Can you tell me, What am I? No one needs to tell me,
What is right or wrong, Especially, How I should be dressed, If I want to wear a red hat, Let me, It is me being me, If you judge me, I will not care, I am unique, I stand out on my own, do you? I need no side comments, Or unpleasant remarks, Relax and, Watch me be me, I am doing no harm, Life is already hard as it is, So let me be happy, Let me live the way I want. |