When originally thinking of starting a Christ Figure of the Month we originally planned to go straight for the throat and start in the middle of it with Beowulf as a Christ Figure of the month. In retrospect we figured there needed to be a baseline for other comparison, so without further ado, Jesus Christ, a carpenter of Nazareth.
There is a widespread book and a few religions that subscribe to his teachings yet this is very unimportant because they mostly have conflicting views of the man so we will simply take the most commonly accepted values and use those as our basis for Jesus.
Jesus started teaching his lessons centered around him being the savior that was predicted in the Torah. Jesus eventually had 12 Apostles but one of them sold him out (Judas), he got killed by the Romans (Longinus), then returned as a zombie (rose from the dead) several days (3 days) later to continue his teachings. Then finally Jesus ascends from Earth to Heaven to never be seen again.
To determine if someone is a Christ figure we will use the following standards
Multitudes of colors
Filled with chloroplasts and light
We need them live.
Fueled by many chemicals
The brain is where it occurs
It’s a warm feeling
Over the last couple of weeks, the mighty and esteemed “Jenkintown Ancient Literature Club” (or the “Jenkintown Beowulf Club”, whatever they decide to call themselves at the moment) set out to read Beowulf: the Old English Epic (Poem). At first determined to read the original version as written nearly 1,000 years ago in old english this idea was quickly dropped and translated versions of the story were acquired. What follows is the aftermath of that nefarious “novel.”
To start off the book is fairly cliche. Surely the idea of a conquering hero killing beasts and taking loot was a novel idea at the time it was written but in the 21st century or even the 20th, the idea is way too worn out to provide any surprises. The vast majority of the book entails Beowulf hearing of trouble, seeking the trouble, killing the beast that is causing the trouble, and then large celebrations and decorations all in Beowulf’s honor. What a drag.
Despite the simple plot there is a little more to Beowulf then that. For one the story has an abundance of tangents and side stories that have no relevance at all to the main plot. This could be seen as pointless and a waste of time, however on the other hand it could be seen as a creative way to double the length of the tale you’re writing when your mead-hall companions need something long enough to last them through at least 15 mugs of the finest mead in the land.
Now after the mess you just read, it could be safe to assume that reading the story is a complete waste of time and effort that could be better spent elsewhere, such as highlighting and annotating a Hench Packet. Although there is never enough time to H&A a Beowulf HP just like Frankenstein, it does set up a lot of common themes and literary things that are still used and commonly seen today.