Buford was walking home from the party late last night. He was walking through the alley shortcut when he heard it. Merowww? Merowww? Rowr! Hiss! Fttt! Butford raced into the darkness to break up the cat fight. Little did he know that it would have a great effect on his very near future. ... As he raced through the near tarry darkness, banging into trash cans, cars, and other knickknacks thrown into the alley, he honed in on the sounds of the fight. He burst through the barrier of garbage whacking away at the the pile of cats with a broom handle he didn’t remember picking up. Whack! Wham! Smack! Bam! Cats were flying everywhere! When all the cats were gone, he could see what they had been piled on. A little kitten- claw, scratch, and bite marks all over it. The poor thing looked up at him, and his heart melted as he leaned over to pick it up, a sharp kick to the behind sent him sprawling.
“Wat ya have to break up our fight, jerk!” a raspy voice said. “It was just gettin’ good! I should wallop ya right here for that one!” yelled a raggedy old hobo, one of the ones who lived here all the time. “Oh yeah?” Buford taunted, “you and what army?” a hundred angry, dirty faces glared out from the piles of garbage. “Oh,” he said, his face turning the color of paper, ”that one.” The old guy, who seemed to be the leader, reached into a trash can and pulled out a pvc pipe that had an old saw blade attached to it by rope and duct tape. The others pulled out things like it and moved forward Buford ominously. Suddenly, he put the kitten in his pocket, held the broom handle like a staff and started whacking. When a hole opened in the ranks of angry hobos, he ran until he got to his house. He poured some of his spare cat food (He already had 562 cats in his house) into a bowl and went to sleep. .... Three months later, the stray was just as fat as the rest of them and had taken to lying in front of the door, so Buford had just started climbed out the window to get to work. One day, he couldn’t get up, because the fat thing was sitting on him! as time passed, the other cats began to get restless. They had never been this long without food! So they came to the obvious conclusion. they ate him instead! As they started to bite, he gave up. the next week. When the police came to his house, all the found was a human skeleton, picked clean. Oh, and a bunch of very fat,dead cats.
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